Tuesday, August 29, 2023
My dearest Dad,
You were a strong and soft person. Grounded in goodness & kindness. Your wicked sense of humour kept us belly laughing through life, and afloat when it got too serious. Your lightness created buoyancy. We sure could use that now.
Remember when I was first starting out in my career and you told me to never kiss anyone’s ass to get ahead? You said to work hard, strive for excellence, respect people, and work towards the greater good. Solid piece of advice, Dad.
You knew pain in a deeply personal way. This offered you a different view of the world. Gave you perspective that was not obvious to everyone. It made you exceptionally brave and compassionate. I believe it was the root of your kindness and the birth place of your humour. Thank you for sharing this so freely with us. It’s a huge part of who we have become.
Our last two weeks with you were sacred. Forever grateful for that time. It was an honour to help Mom care for you at the end of your life. Even though it felt like the ground had been yanked out from underneath us, we found our way. It was heart work. It was also excruciating to witness your pain. Death is not pretty. But we said all the things, felt all the feels, listened to each other, stayed present, laughed. You know, the stuff of life.
I’ve been told that the death of a parent is life altering. I can feel that, but I’m still just on the edge of it. Mostly it feels unimaginable to have to live and breathe without you in the world.
Thank you for truly seeing me. For the countless deep dive conversations, for patiently unpacking big topics, for your willingness to hear me, for letting me be wrong, for being silly, for creating room for me to expand in my humanness.
Thank you for being the best Dad to Garth and I, and the best Papa to our kids. They carry your light. Luckily, we all inherited your quick wit and absorbed your antics. Thanks to you, we have a ton of comedic material to work with.
Thank you for believing in us. For always being our biggest cheerleader. You led from the heart, the best kind of leader.
I will forever miss you. But I also feel you here too. That’s love, I guess. I hope you are soaring, free as a bird.
